I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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