White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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