I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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