you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
