I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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