you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
