Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
