I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
