Will you blow on my dice?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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