Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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