Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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