When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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