note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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