I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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