Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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