dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
