we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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