I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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