Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
