her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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