In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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