She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
