So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
