Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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