I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
