I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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