Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize