billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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