I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
