He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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