Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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