best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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