So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
