If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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