Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
porn star boner night. come get it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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