Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize