Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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