sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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