Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
