tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
