TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
