oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
