I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize