I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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