well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions