would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards