I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
