some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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