We're facebook friends in real life
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
