In the future we'll all be gay
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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