I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
