Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
