I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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