its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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