There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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