that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
