if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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