that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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