One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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