You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
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