Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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