You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
