He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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