You're completely useless in the revolution.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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