you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
